Viktor Persson

Sharing My Journey To Life

I Want Everyone To Like Me!

Posted on | september 5, 2012 | 3 Comments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a character of fear, and anxiety when I start school – as fearing to meet new people – as fearing to make myself look inadequate and stupid in-front of new people – worrying that my reputation, and how others talk about me might become negative – instead of accepting and allowing myself to let go of all fears, and express myself here as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and fear that I am not being seen enough, and by a sufficient amount of people – and that I as such will be forgotten, and not be popular – but be one of those people that nobody see – and nobody know – existing within and as a character of being a socialite – wherein I want to know that others know about me – in fear that unless others know about me I will be useless – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about how others see me, or interpret me – and instead live HERE one and equal as my human physical body – and see, realize and understand that when I exist up there in my head in worry and fear – I am missing out on precious breathing moments here with myself – as physical moments of interaction here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as worry, and fear of introducing myself to other people – and exist within and as fear and fear – then when I meet other people that they will instantly dislike me, and decide that they do not want to be with me – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about how I am perceived in social contexts – and instead accept and allow myself to move myself here with breath – to participate without thoughts – with self-interest – as defining me as someone that apparently needs a certain social setting to be comfortable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live and apply myself as the self-independence and self-reliance that I’ve observed in cats – as cats have the ability to move from one environment to the other – and interact with new beings – without the slightest worry and fear that they will be disliked by the beings with which they participate – as the are totally self-reliant, and live self-independence here – not requiring or needing any form of validation or comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I meet new people, and find myself in situations of interacting/speaking with other human beings – to go into and as the fear that I will not be accepted – and start to think about what value and worth I have in relation to other human beings – and where I am placed within and as the “social hierarchy” that I’ve made up in my mind – not seeing, realizing and understanding that all of my experience – all of my ideas are not real – they are merely interpretations that I’ve superimposed unto this physical reality – instead of living and applying myself here – ONE and EQUAL as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk myself as a fake-face – as accepting and allowing myself to speak in a fake voice – to speak as being fake interested in others – to speak as being fake excited, or worried – or annoyed with certain points in my world – only in order to get into a group, and get to be recognized by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop when I see that I am speaking and interacting from within and as a starting point of wanting to be accepted and validated by a group of people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the technique of complaining – and gossiping about certain points in my world, and reality – in order to create relationships with other beings – so that I will not feel alone, and left-out – instead of bringing myself back here to this physical reality – and walking myself one and equal as the physical – seeing, realizing and understanding that I can’t ever be secluded – or left-out – as I am here as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others that express themselves more lively, and fearless than me – and think that such people are better than me – and possess a quality that make them better than me – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop comparing myself with others, and instead focus upon discovering myself as a physical being HERE – stop worrying about how I am perceived and whether I am good, or not good – and instead walk, and apply myself HERE as the physical one and equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make interacting, and participating with other human beings into a energy-game where I will attempt and try to gain the attention and recognition of others – and wherein I will try and attempt to be seen, and validated by others – wherein I will compromise and suppress myself in order to be seen as normal, and as fun to be with and around – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop compromising myself – stop thinking that I have to fit in – stop thinking that there is something wrong with me when I am not able to speak, and communicate about the same points as everyone else – and instead of attempting and trying to be like others – to instead accept and allow myself to be like – and get to know myself as a physical being here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried that I will be forgotten by others – and that I will be rejected by others – and to try and attempt to stop this from happening – compromise and suppress myself – wherein I will speak, and move myself from within and as a starting point of fear – and anxiety – and inferiority – and worry – as fearing that I will one day be alone and without any company – instead of accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as all-one – to accept the fact that I am not like everyone else – as I am here – walking breath – as ME – as a individual – and that as such – it’s nothing strange, or weird, or bad – that I won’t be able to create a relationship with each individual in my world – as I simply do not fit – exist within and as the same position as others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there is something wrong with me unless I am able to communicate with, and entertain – and create a relationship with every being that is in my world – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding – that there is nothing bad – there is nothing wrong – it’s simply that there is no point of common interest, or connection – and that this is nothing bad, or wrong – and that I don’t have to force myself to communicate with such a being – but that I can simply let it go and remain here as breath – and walk self-honesty in every moment

I commit myself to walk self-honesty – and as such not try and attempt to force myself to communicate and create relationships with beings that I do not share any common interest – or point of connection with – and as such I commit myself to breath and participate within and as the interactions that emerge here naturally as me

I commit myself to walk self-honesty – as not emulating myself to fit into – and mold myself to become accepted by others – but instead walk here as a real being and as such form real relationships – with beings that I share points of interest with – or that I am simply able to speak, and share myself with as myself – as the real me – wherein I don’t have to emulate, or change myself – or speak about things that I really do not care about – only in order to hold unto a idea of a relationship with another being

I commit myself to form relationships with others HERE as myself as breath – wherein I as such commit myself to live REAL to be REAL – and to walk myself as REAL here – and as such communicate for real – as breath – as not preparing myself to speak – as not looking in myself what I can speak with another about – but accepting and allowing myself to flow, and interact fluidly here

I commit myself to when I notice that I go into the fear of not being accepted – the fear of not having sufficient with relationships – the fear of not being liked – that I immediately stop myself, take a deep breath and bring myself back here to the physical – and that I instead walk myself HERE as a physical being – and that I appreciate myself here – that I am grateful for myself here – and that I enjoy myself here – whether I am all-one – or I interacting with others

I commit myself to remain the same – constant – yesterday, today and tomorrow – whether I speak, and interact with others – or whether I am by myself in my apartment – or whether I am out walking on the town; and as such I commit myself to stop looking for something more – to stop believing that I am insufficient and that I require to form relationships to grow myself – and I instead commit myself to participate with other from a starting point of: “I am satisfied with myself here and I don’t require another to give me comfort, and surety – as I am here

I commit myself to stop attempting, and trying to force relationships in my world – to force myself to speak, and interact – and as I notice that I do so – to immediately stop myself, take a deep breath and bring myself back here – and walk myself as breath as the physical – enjoying myself HERE – appreciating myself HERE – and being satisfied with myself HERE

Comments

3 Responses to “I Want Everyone To Like Me!”

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  2. The All-Consuming Monster of Self
    september 8th, 2012 @ 11:11 e m

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  3. Oops, You Missed a Spot! DAY 112
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